


Doubt

by leooX



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, First Meetings, Ill prolly add more tags maybe, M/M, Trans Character, trans!tyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9229040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leooX/pseuds/leooX
Summary: Tyler meets Josh at the supermarket.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Is that...is that another sucky story by Leo?   
> Yeah  
> It is
> 
>  
> 
> Should I write more chapters in this?

It was pretty average that Tyler didn't want to leave his house. He preferred the comfort of his home to the outside world.  
A lot of the time, he didn't _need_ to go outside. He had a job that he could work from home, ordered his shopping online and rarely went clothes shopping. So, save from having to go to the doctors, he never had to go out.

But on this paticular day, he really, _really_ , needed to go out.

He felt it as soon as he woke up after stripping to his boxers and situated himself in his bed with a strange feeling in his abdomen, slept for nine hours, and woke up with horrible cramping.

He'd rolled over onto his stomach and got to his knees, his forearms still on the matress, rocking himself back and forth slightly through the pain, and suddenly-  
He felt a rush of liquid and his pants becoming wet and uncomfortable, because he'd started his fucking _period_.

He should have known. He should have known, yet he almost always forgot. He'd been good the past couple of months, stocking up on supplies before he could run out.  
But the one time he needed them (and also didn't want to get out of bed, nevermind the front door) he had nothing he could shove in his boxers to stop the blood staining his sheets.

Sure, if he'd started taking testosterone when he'd had the first opportunity, this wouldn't have been a problem. But Tyler was adamant when he was younger that he'd be fine this way.  
He passed as a man enough with his short hair and binding and bushy brows, so he'd be fine.  
God, he was so wrong.

He could go back to his doctor and talk about it, but he was so busy, and fucking awkward. That was why he ordered his prescription anxiety medication online and chose not to go to family events.

He could call someone. Could ask his mom to pick some pads up for him, or his sister, anyone. But he hated bothering them.

There was no way he could get out of this.

Begrudgingly he shifted off the bed, careful not to get blood anywhere, and then ran to the bathroom, where he changed his boxers and ended up having to stuff them with tissue in the mean time.

Once he deemed himself presentable, he plugged his earphones in his ears and took a deep breath before opening his front door.  
He'd worn the wrong clothing, he came to realise, walking down the street.   
It was a hot day and he was feeling smothered by the heavy black jumper and jeans he wore.   
The heat made him feel even more consious of the situation- he probably smelt bad, or even worse, in it.

The supermarket was only ten minutes away, but that included crossing main roads and being seen by people. He hated every second of his journey, and only briefly felt relief when he walked through the automatic double doors. That was quickly drowned away by the fact that he was here to buy _feminine products._

He made his way to the home decor aisle, lingering there and looking blankly at the lamps and fake flowers, trying to build himself up.

It was okay. They'd probably just assume they were for his girlfriend, or something. They wouldn't even have time to ask questions- it was busy.  
But… what If they saw through him? Saw that he wasn't a _real_ man. He didn't want humiliated…  
But he didn't want to spend a week laying in his house with blood everywhere, either.

He shuffled to the next aisle, walking down it and repeating this until he got to the personal hygiene area.

For a while, he stayed at the end of the shelves, staring at the deodorant cans until his vision went black at the edges and he had to blink to clear his eyes. He picked a can up anyway, partly because he needed more but mostly because he didn't want to only buy sanitary towels and so he could prove his masculinity.

He moved further up gradually- it was a long aisle, so there was a lot to distract himself with, running his hands over the different brushes and questioning whether he should get more hair product, until he was finally at his destination.

It was daunting, looking at the tens of different products. He only needed one- it didn't matter as long as it was tampons, but he couldn't do it.   
No matter how much he willed himself to just pick up a pack and checkout. He felt paralysed. He felt like there were hundreds of people standing around staring at him.  
But there was no one there, except-

"Hey, can I help you with anything?"

Tyler moved his gaze to the man stood next to him. He was shorter than Tyler, with black hair that curled and clung to his forehead. He had tunnels in his ears and a lip piercing and he wondered if that was allowed in a place of work but then, this was a popular chain of stores and they probably didn't care as long as they got away with giving out shitty wages.

"Are you okay?"

Tyler cleared his throat and opened his mouth to talk, but all that came out was a small noise before he started to cry.  
He was helpless to it- he'd wanted to breakdown since the moment he woke up. He was so pathetic and always ended up crying when someone asked him that, anyway. He cried over _everything_ , but this was different.

He was stood in front of the feminine hygiene, crying while a worker tried to console him, with tissue stuffed down his pants and pain in his stomach. How could he _not_ cry?

"Fuck- I'm sorry for bothering you." The man apologised. Tyler noticed the way he put emphasis on his 's' and paused between words for longer than normal, and that helped him gather his breath.

"I-its not you, it's just- _fuck_." Tyler sobbed and covered his face with his hands.

"Uh. Can I, like, help you with anything?" The worker asked again, and Tyler rubbed his eyes before letting his hands back down to his sides.

The man looked around uneasily and then Tyler noticed that he'd been restocking the shampoos.   
"I'm sorry. You p-probably need to work," he mumbled, staring at the ground.

"Its fine. I'm Josh- now, what do you need help with? Well, that's if you do- if not, just tell me. I don't want to bother you,"

Tyler felt himself smile a bit and he made eye contact with Josh before frowning again.

He took a deep breath, "well. I need to buy… I need to buy-" he couldn't even say it. Fuck, he was so stupid.

"Oh. Oh, no, you mean these, right?"

Josh stepped forward and grabbed a package that had 'WITH WINGS' stamped across the front abnoxiously and Tyler flushed.

"T-they're for my friend," he lied quickly, realising how stupid that was. Why would he cry if he was buying them for someone else?

Josh must've saw straight through him, but he nodded anyway, looked behind Tyler and then, like an angel, said- "Do you want me to buy them for you?"

Tyler could have cried again, he nearly did, but instead he just stammered and then nodded.

Josh smiled at him and turned on his heel, making his way to the front of the store. Tyler strolled behind him, keeping a bit of distance from him incase anyone saw them, and watched Josh go to a self checkout. 

Fuck. He didn't even know they had them here.

Josh scanned them easily, then took the deoderant from Tyler, and scanned his staff card, so Tyler assumed he had some kind of staff discount from it.

When Josh had put his own money in the machine, he beckoned for Tyler to follow him out of the store. It confused him- why was Josh still here? Why did he want to go outside with Tyler? He wasn't complaining, but...

Josh denied when Tyler tried to push his money into his hands.

"No- really, it's fine."

"Please take it, i don't even know you," Tyler insisted. 

Josh laughed and huffed, "nope. But can- can I like, have your number?"

Tyler was stunned into momentary silence. "You- you want  _my_ number?" He asked incredulously. 

"Please?"

No one ever asked him for his number. Ever. 

He had to bite his lip to stop himself from grinning as he took out his phone and rattled off his number to Josh, pushing away the thoughts of- what if he's mocking me? What if he knows and he's going to tell people?

"Thanks. What's your name?"

"It's... Tyler."

"Right. Seeya Tyler." Josh flashed him a toothy smile before returning to his job, and Tyler nearly cried again.

One of his worst days had turned into something  _good._


End file.
